Once I was divorced, I understood there are many layers to loneliness.

While married and realizing it was coming to an end, I felt lonely in the presence of my husband; there was no connection between us. I felt like I was alone; however, In the presence of my children, I felt fulfilled and never felt the loneliness.

Going through my divorce, I was expecting to feel lonely after being in a family unit, especially during the holidays, but that did not happen. I was content to be out of the marriage, and made the most of my time with my children. I have friends who have felt totally devastated during the holidays. This is truly a normal feeling, and if you are feeling this, please take the time to process it and get through.

Loneliness is the situation of being feeling sad about it

What I didn’t realize is how I would feel when my ex-husband would carry on with the vacations and relationships with people that I considered my friends. It was a different feeling of loneliness for me. Not a devasting: “I can’t go on” feeling, but a sad felling, indeed. I think everyone going through a divorce wants all the friends to side with them, but that doesn’t always happen.

I lost female friends because they could not understand how I could give up a man who remembered my birthday, our anniversary, bought me luxury cars, took me on surprise vacations, bought me expensive jewelry, sent me flowers for no reason, and appeared to be so romantic and very in-tune with me.

What they didn’t know is after 15 years, this man still could not tell you how I took my coffee, never remembered to fill my Christmas stocking, didn’t understand when I didn’t want to go on a weekend trip and leave my children behind for Mother’s Day. He would buy me clothes that I didn’t wear, such as corduroy pants. I cannot stand the sound of corduroy when you walk; I don’t like how heavy they feel on my legs; yet I would get corduroy pants for nearly every gift. My ex-husband was all about the show and not about me.

Losing those friends gave me another sense of loneliness. Some of them gave me great memories and the feeling of loss and was deep. I felt alone. In the end, I understood that I had to release these friends and understand that their husbands were not fulfilling their needs, and it was not my problem.

If you are going through any of these situations, take my word for it – the loneliness goes away, or at least gets much better. The most important thing you can do is ALLOW yourself the time to grieve, be sad, cry, scream, rant and rave, or whatever you need to do to process.

I promise there are sunny days ahead. Today, I rarely feel lonely. I enjoy my time alone. I enjoy the peace and quiet and not having to defend myself on who I am. I can honestly say that I am at peace.

If you need anyone to lift you up, you can email me at: [email protected]. I am always available to assist. Be at peace…be well…be loved!